In The Guild of Ornamental Hermits, the Elsewherian known only as The Lawyer™ is a secret devotee of "the Cosmic Soccer Mom," the dreaded (yet sometimes strangely merciful) multi-dimensional goddess, Mal-i-Bu Bar-Bee. The Lawyer™ is startled to find representations of his beloved goddess in toy store windows on Earth, and understands that these supposed children's…
The Incredible Unstrung Band
The Incredible Unstrung Band, Deep Pahoa Jungle Concert. L to R: Roz, Sybil, Jennifer, Maximus, Maxine, Oyster, & Frank. Depicted via HeroForge.com. Hermitville has its own community band, The Incredible Unstrung Band. The band usually consists of eight multi-instrumentalists, though sometimes additional musicians or dancers perform with them. The band's playlist is eclectic, consisting of…
Rune Illustrations by Paul F.S. Bauer
Today I am sharing two illustrations I commissioned from my youngest son, Paul F.S. Bauer, for The Dire Deeds of the Guild of Ornamental Hermits. There is a scene in the book where the Elves teach divination using the Elder Futhark runes, and I wanted the results illustrated. Paul added the additional design elements based…
July 2020 Progress
I am back firmly in fantasy novelist mode! This past weekend I put some character and plot development changes in place and continued the final edit on Dire Deeds. I revised the list of 29 genders of the Elf world; and sorted and organized files of character "faces" (a form of fantasy "casting" that helps…
From “A” to Ze
This is a coming out post. Even as a child I never liked my first name, preferring often to simply use the letter "A." I used to think it was because "Amy" seemed too wimpy and I also resented being named after a character in Louisa May Alcott's Little Women (yes, my parents did that).…
QQ Excerpt: More Lucky LaFey
Artwork via HeroForge.com Excerpt from The Queerest Quest of the Guild of Ornamental Hermits: To hear Lucky tell it, he’d spent a chunk of time hobnobbing with the poshest Sonoma county growers (grapes, not cannabis) and had known Ginger’s parents as well as Ginger. He’d lived on this property as a sort of unofficial caretaker, off…
“The Queerest Quest” Has Begun!
November 1st (my birthday) is also the start of each year's National Novel Writing Month, fondly known as NaNoWriMo. In NaNoWriMo 2016, I launched my fantasy novel, The Dire Deeds of the Guild of Ornamental Hermits, and continued to write all year. In NaNoWriMo 2017, I continued work on Dire Deeds and then revised and completed…
QQ Excerpt: Lucky LaFey: Character Sketch
Lucky LaFey is a new main character who appears in the third volume of The Guild of Ornamental Hermits series, The Queerest Quest of the Guild of Ornamental Hermits. This third book takes place in Lake County, CA. Lucky LaFey is a drifter. He wears his mileage lightly though he's travelled the roughest of roads. However his…
You Need a Scorecard to Keep Track…
Joe Hillstrom Sidley Croom Joe and Sidley are on again, off again lovers. Artwork via HeroForge.com. Oyster Olson Babe Bump Tomma Bedlam Three of the main characters. Artwork via HeroForge.com. Here is a list of some of the relationship configurations involving the characters in The Guild of Ornamental Hermits fantasy series. Check out our characters…
“Dire Deeds” Story Set in The Restored Hawaiian Kingdom
Uncle Iolana Kamapua'a Kia'i'okamauna Kamapua'a Namaka Kamapua'a Three members of the Kamapua`a `Ohana. Images via HeroForge.com and NewProfilePic.com. The Dire Deeds of the Guild of Ornamental Hermits takes place in Hawai'i in a "not too distant" future. As I work my way through the second draft, it became obvious to me that I wanted that future…
