• Tomma Bedlam (Swift), 45, performance artist, ‘zine publisher, Barbie collector. Gender fluid: ze, zir.
  • Babe Bump, 49, neo-burlesque performer, costume designer, and bookkeeper. Most frequent first person narrator. Intersex woman (PAIS): she, her.
  • Ginger Croom, 72, founder and owner of Hermitville. Cisgender woman: she, her.
  • Sidley Croom, 65, Ginger’s brother and presumed heir. Cisgender man: he him.
  • Maximus Gordon, 68, musician. Cisgender man: he, him.
  • Joe Hillstrom, 40, Sidley’s former love and personal trainer, photographer. Cisgender man: he, him.
  • Jennifer Juniper, 40, musician. Cisgender woman: she, her.
  • Oyster Olson (Lemelin), 45, musician. Transgender man: he, him.
  • Aarrf Perry, 50, Hermitville security, human puppy. Gender multiple: they, them.
  • Sybil Perry, 58, musician. Cisgender woman: she, her. (No relation to Aarrf.)
  • Rozaline Rae (McRae), 58, musician. Cisgender woman: she, her.
  • “Mini” Maxine Richmond (Guelph), 65, musician. Cisgender woman: she, her.
  • Glysandra ShaktiOm (Phylaxia), 51, tantra teacher, artist. Cisgender woman: she, her.
  • Frank Talk (Durfee), 43, musician. Intersex man: he, him.


  • Nar (Artanáro Alma – Noble Fire Flower)
  • Professor Osbert Almond (Laurina Eälótë – Golden Sea Flower)
  • Maud o’ Bedlam (Elemmírë Ohtar – Star-jewel Warrior)
  • Parsifal Berry Blue (Lúnë Pië – Blue Berry)
  • Breadcrumb (Titta Massánië – Little Breadgiver)
  • Hamfast (Nectë Morco – Honey Bear)
  • Nen (Fantur Nen – Cloud Lord River)
  • Gingevus Sitwell (Lindë Sorno – Sky Singing Eagle)
  • Septimus Sitwell (Irmo Arwë – Long for Treasure)
  • Who’s There (Yéva Sanomë – Who Will Be There)

• Nienna, Varda, Tulkas the Laughing Warrior, and other Tolkien Elf deities are mentioned.

• Vesta (aka “Secret Salamander’), ageless, deathless, immortal. Supernatural being, female.

• Wubbies, three magic peach pits from the Elven Realm.


  • Elsewherians, interdimensional adversaries.
  • Stanford Lawsome, 32, Anna’s assistant. Cisgender man: he, him.
  • The Lawyer®, 37, lawyer for Anna. An Elsewherian. Gender neutral: ze, zir.
  • Sri Niri Nimrod, unpleasant troublemaker posing as spiritual guru. Cisgender man: he, him.
  • Anna Phylaxia, 45, “Martha Stewart of BDSM.” Cisgender woman: she, her.
  • Wethrini, interdimensional adversaries.


  • Keiki`okalani Iolana Kamapua`a: Infant. Namaka’s youngest. Gender unknown.
  • Namaka Kamapua`a: 32, mother of Kia’i and Keiki`okalani.
  • Kia`i`o`anuenue Kamapua`a: 10: Namaka’s oldest son.
  • “Uncle” Iolana Samuel Kamapua`a: 79, an elder. Grandfather to Keiki`okalani.


  • Eddie Sedgwick, twenty-something, film crew. Transgender man: he, him.
  • Miranda Jackson, 58, leader of film crew, Tomma’s former lover. Cisgender woman: she, her.
  • Shank Stoma, thirty-something, film crew. Cisgender woman: she, her, but okay with ze, zir.
  • Toledo Jackson, forty-something, Punatic, sells goats. Miranda’s brother. Cisgender man: he, him.

Plus, various supernatural Powers are referenced in the narrative.